Irregular length/language की ग़ज़ल की कोशिश

और कितनी पतली दाल करे
आओ इकोनोमी पर सवाल करे

कब तक हम कीमत और वो आश्वासन देंगे
चलो अब तो कुछ बवाल करे

बोर हो गए है ख़ाली बटुए देख कर
अब तो कुछ अशांति बहाल करे

कीमतें, टैक्स, रोड पर गड्ढे सब बढे और हम चुप रहे
किसी ने कहा था एक थप्पड़ के बाद आगे दूसरा गाल करे

दिन में दो बार से रविवार के लंच तक सिमट गया प्याज
और कितना जैन ना होने का मलाल करे

Before and After -2

Apparently the situation in last post is not a new one. While surfing over the internet i came across this article and it makes the same point as last post, only the roles have reversed. Read and enjoy.

Before And After

I remember in my first year i used to hear this argument a lot : 'Many of you may be topper in your school days.And you all have come here and here there can be only one topper. So if you dont figure in top of the class, don't get disheartened and enjoy the learning.' I was never a topper but this advice helped me a lot.
Tomorrow is convocation ceremony for many of my friends and i just want to say this to my female friends from IIT who are venturing into real harsh world out there :'You may have been asked out a lot during your IIT years because you were one of the few girls. But there are many girls out there and don't get disheartened if you don't get the attention/notes/xerox delivered to H-10/free coffee at Shack/CCD because theer are many better girls out there. Best Of Luck.'

Election-Mirror Image

It has been some days since results of election are out. I have been reading the analysis and can't help noticing the similarity with the practicals i did in last four years. The analysis follows the same rule as my undergraduate practicals like :

• You were and you will be always right
• You can either read the manual, perform the experiment by book and then wonder what went wrong OR you can do the experiment (3 hours is long time,kuch kar hi liya karo ) whatever way you like and then justify the results
• There is always room for new theory/trend

Reading the above three rules, it is clear they can also be applied to election result. Now let us do a thought experiment. Suppose BJP would have won the election. And, as in experiments, i just happen to get the final result. How would i interpret it. Here we go :

Indian voter has done it. Finally, the democracy in India is matured enough to think on its own. Indian electorate has taken a stand of its own without listening to what so called election pundits had to say. This is a clear mandate against the dynasty politics. Indian netas should understand that they need to have something more than mere surname to get elected. And the experience, the hardship, direct contact with the masses (through various yatras) pays.
This election has once again showed the importance of regional parties. It has established the fact that India as a country is very diverse, country where dialect changes every X kms and aspiration of people follows the same trend. It has shown that development is what country votes for and if you are good at governance, you will get vote(Gujarat, Mr. Modi).
Congress paid the price for its arrogance. Going alone in a state like UP was a big blunder. Congress should return to basics of electorate mathematics and workout its equations. In west bengal too, though Left suffered some setbacks in rural areas, in urban areas it won handsomely. Again emphasizing the fact that urban voter were in support of industriallization and hence voted for left.
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will be edited soon

स्कूटी वाली लड़की

सुबह अचानक स्कूटी वाली लड़की याद आ गई..और याद आई ढेरो बातें...कुछ लिख दी...कुछ बाकी है बातें

छल्ला उंगली में घुमाती
दूसरे हाथ से फ़ोन पे बतियाती

हाथ-मुह सब कपड़े में छुपे
हर किसी को लेकिन आँख दिखाती
सिनेमा, ब्यूटी पार्लर, राशन
उसी से tution भी जाती
कभी रूकती गोलगप्पे वाले के पास
Boys school से निकलती तो हार्न बजाती
दिसम्बर के कोहरे में छिपी headlight
तो जुलाई में कीचड उडाती
स्कूटी धोते पापा ही थे उसके
लेकिन छोटे से scratch को भी ख़ुद सहलाती
दोस्तों के साथ खूब पीछा किया उसका
हमारे बीच वो 'स्कूटी वाली लड़की' कहलाती

शायद कभी ....

कभी ऐसा करना है मुझे
डालनी है एक छत
कुछ खिड़कियों पर
देने है कुछ दरवाजें
खिड़कियों के बीच में
बिछानी है दरी बीच में
सजानी है उसके चारो और
Narayan, Wodehouse, Pula
और भी बहुत सारी किताबें
इसके ऊपर, छत पर
लिखना है don't panic

दरी पर, किताबों से घिरे हुए

don't panic के ठीक नीचे सो जाना है
और मुक़र्रर करना है एक आदमी
जो मेरे सोने पर
ऊपर से भी कुछ किताबें डाल दे

Valentine Day...From now on I will celebrate it on 30th february

सुबह उम्मीदों भरी थी
सपनों में आई परी थी

उसने पहला happy valentine day wish किया
नींद खुलते ही मैंने उसे miss किया

सोचा फ़िर से सो जाऊं
सपनों में खो जाऊं

फ़िर सोचा आज तो आलस छोड़ दूँ
बरसो से चले आ रहे रिवाज़ को तोड़ दूँ

saturday है, कुछ तो फायदा उठाऊं
हिम्मत करू, किसी को तो pataoon

computer खोला , किया login
दुखी हुआ friendlist के नाम गिन

नही थी online कोई लड़की
recession में इस में भी कड़की

नीचे देखा PCO खाली, xerox वीरान
रोड पर सिर्फ़ बन्दे, CCD सुनसान

पता चला campus में आमिर खान आया है
सबका वक्त वाही जाया है

सोचा V-day को धुएँ में उडाऊं
इस बर्बादी का जश्न मनाऊँ

टमटम पकड़ी आया main road पर
पहुँचा sip-n-dine के मोड़ पर

अन्दर bartender ने wish किया
बोल बहुत दिन बाद आए सर,आपको बहुत miss किया
कही कुछ इधर उधर की बात
किसी तरह छिपाई दिल की सिसकियाँ

1-2-3 फ़िर गिनती छूट गई
होश-अकल-समझ सब मुझसे रूठ गई

आँख खुली तो देखा एक message आया था
लिखा था-मैंने तुम्हे कल कई बार फ़ोन लगाया था

नींद पूरी रफूचक्कर, hangover गायब
आईला लड़की का message!!देर आयद-दुरुस्त आयद

आगे लिखा था की wish करना था कल
और करनी थी कुछ बात
तुमने फ़ोन उठाया नही
शायद थे किसी के साथ

झट से कॉल किया मैंने
पुछा क्या है काम
पहिला शब्द बोली hello
फिर लिया मेरा नाम

जैसे बोली कौस्तुभ
लगा सातों सुर एक साथ चले आए
अरे बहुत happy होने पर भी heart attack आता है
कोई उस जालिम को यह बताये

बोली खुले में आयो
बहुत noise है
उसे क्या पता था
वोह मेरे हार्ट बीट की voice है

मै बोला:तुमने फ़ोन किया था कल
sorry उठा नही पाया
वोह बोली(sarcastically):ओह ऐसा क्या!!
अच्छा किया तुमने बताया

(background voiceover)
आवाज़ में मिठास, लहजे में sarcasm
यह तो dream come true है
एक बार propose कर लूँ, फ़िर शादी पर ही रुकुंगा
मेरी love train passenger नही through है

फ़िर गिरा atom bomb
मै बना hiroshima nagasaki
world ceased to exist for me
नही रहा कुछ भी बाकी

बोली एक ticket करवानी है
तुम online कर दो
मै बाद में दे दूंगी
अभी तुम pay कर दो






इस के बाद भी बहुत कुछ लिखा था ...लेकिन वोह आसुओं के कारण मिट गया।

Loan of Sleep

बहुत बड़ा issue है
थोडी नींद overdue है

समय की bank से
उधार लिए थे कुछ घंटे
ख़तम किए कुछ काम
थोड़े बरसो पुराने टंटे

फिर चला class-lab ka ऐसा दौर
दिमाग में घूमता alpha-beta-sigma-mu है
बहुत बड़ा issue है
थोडी नींद overdue है

नींद के recovery agent
lecture में मुझे धर दबोचते है
नींद का लोन चुका ना पाया,गुरु-दक्षिणा क्या चुकायेगा
ऐसा मेरे गुरुजन सोचते है

बेटे की ऐसी हालत देख माँ की आँख में आँसू
हाथ में tissue है
बहुत बड़ा issue है
थोडी नींद overdue है

लेकिन अब सोच लिया है
नींद की emi में ना कभी देफौल्ट करूँगा
पूरा लोन मय interest के भरूँगा

नए साल में मेरा resolution new है
बहुत बड़ा issue है
थोडी नींद overdue है

Orkut Vilaap (incompelete..)

आखिर कब तक
तुम मेरे scrap का reply नही करोगी
कब तक ignore करोगी
मेरा बार बार recent visitors मे दिखना
और कब बंद करोगी free होकर भी status में busy लिखना

Option है तुम्हारे पास
करो 'ignore the user' का इस्तेमाल
तुम्हारे emoticons मुझे सब बतलाते
क्या चल रहे है दिल मे ख्याल

मैंने तो बस तुम्हे poke ही किया था
तुमने वो application ही हटा दी
कुत्ते-बिल्ली के अलावा सारा album lock है
ज़रा यह तो बतायो मैंने ऐसी क्या खता की

अरे dictionary से छाँट छांट के लिखा था
वोह testimonial भी तुमने कर दिया reject
और copy paste वाले giveup testimonial
thank you और colon-bracket के साथ करती हो accept

हाय orkut join ही इसलिए किया था
की बन सकूं तुम्हारा fan
और तुमने दिल तोड़ दिया पूछ कर
'Do i know you man!!'

फ़िर तुमने मुझे add कर लिया
पर add kar के ही रह गई
मै friendhip day पर wait karta रहा
तुम आके happy rakshabandhan कह गई

Old Chess Games

Every noob in chess dreams of being a better chess player. Same with me. When at home, i try to improve my game by playing on yahoo chess(though most of the time i end up chatting than thinking next move). But here in institute all the game servers are blocked.This makes it difficult for beginners like me to play and improve on it. There is a limit you can play with computer. There is one more way to improve on your game-by examining the games of different players. However, for beginners this is difficult to follow because at the start the notation d4c5 doesnot mean much. The decsription is dry and one has to sit with chess board to visualise it(at the starting stage). But not any more. Yesterday, i found a very goof chess site chessgames. This site let you observe the games played by great players. And the description is not in the dry chess notation. It uses some java viewer and you can see every move on the chess board which is more easy to follow. Have a look.

Marx in every student !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was brushing my teeths when my wingie came from behind and said "यार ये दुनिया में क्लास क्यों होती हैं .... कितना अच्छा होत अगर क्लास जैसी कोई चीज़ ही नहीं होती तो "(why should there be classes in the world....world would have been much better place without the classes)..........and i realised...190 years after his birth...141 years after publication of legendary Das Kapital...17 years after defragmentation of USSR...and 40+ years of samuelson as introductory economics textbook.....there is little bit of Marx in every student and no matter how hard capitalist power try,they can't end this.

Updates

Few Updates (Regarding Hostel - 8)

• Woofle - 07 started.My team 'InKerDiBalls'.
• Won first match against 'Dudes United' on 18th october.
• Woodland 5th in Main GC Pot Pourri
• No position in Gyrations :(.......
• Second in Socials- Comedy Play
• First in Sports Quiz
• Second in Landscape Painting
• Acads-big time pain in a#&
• No new comments on this blog:(((((
  

Life and Death - A Thermodynamical treatment

(This post is written in haste.A more detailed version will follo)
What is Life ? What is death ? This question baffled many generation of philosophers , scientists and idle thinkers.Some proposed some thing and others proposed some other thing .But question remained unanswered .Now the Faartist(some call us idle thinkers but we prefer this one) at the ' institute of furtamental studies' approach this age old question with new angle.There is no denying of the fact that death is certain,death is certain.Only other thing as certain as death are the laws of thermodynamics and we use them to prove our theory of life and death.

Consider a body as your system.Now there can be two kind of bodies - living and dead . So we shall consider 2 different cases .
Case (i) Living Body
Heat the body till it is decomposed into ots most elementary constituents.Note the amount of heat required.Let this be 'H1'...................................................eqn. (1)
Case (ii) Dead Body
Same procedure as above.Here we would like to make a prediction.We predict that heat required in this case will be different from H1.Let us denote it as H2.......eqn (2)

Let H(L) = H1-H2
where H(L) = energy of life.
(this post will be edited soon.)

Hybrid cars of next and further next gen

Date : 18th Dec 2006
Venue :Hostel 5 mess table
Members present :Me,Siddharth jain,PK
Topic :Foreigners need reason to take off their clothes(HT mumbai,page 14).
Conclusion : they strip to protest and we protest if anyone strips.Yahi maat kha gaya india.
New Topic :DCE made hybrid car.
Conversation :
We all : Laanat hain hum par ki dce car bana raha hain aur hum nahin bana paa rahe hain.
Me : i can.even u can but u need to reach certain level of proficiency in nfs.and if it is aoe then u need cheat code.
Some1 : we r talking about real car.one with 4 wheels and which runs and which finds mention in a paper like hindustan times.
Me : if dce can make then iit sure can make.
Sid : see,further below it is written that iit made a hybrid baus.look,we dont do simple things like car.
Me :see,i told you.
Sid :but dce got its name in headline.
Me :that is because d comes before i.
Sid :but iit is nowhere in the headline.
Me :(resuming my fart)there is flaw in the college's name.i mean,see iit.first i appears before second i and t comes far late.whereas in dce,c is sandwitched between d and e.the name should be cde.and name should be college in delhi for engineering.
Sid :tu naam change karta reh aur woh log paise kama rahe hain.they sold th techonology to mahindra.unka to bedapar ho gaya.apan bhi aisa hi karte hain.padhai vadhai chhodo car banao.
Newer Topic :to build hybrid car
Conclusion
we are going to make a real hybrid car.dce car is better then toyota's.ours will be better then their's.our funda is very simple.increase the space in dikki.make it large enough so that 2 bulls can be accomodated in it.when the petrol ends,take the bulls out.let them carry the car for you.bulls may get tired.so there should be bull pumps.now a days petrol pump have many things like shopping centre and restaurent.then they will have grazing ground and other things to entertain the bulls(see,equal job generation for cows too).bulls will shit.that shit can be used to produce bio gas and this bio gas can be used to run the car.infact,if you have extra large dikki space,you can keep extra bull only to shit all the time.
specification of cars,then,would be x kms per gram of grass.
advantage : revival of rural economy.

we have not yet patented this new innovation nor we intend to do.we believe in free movies,free softwares and free everything.you are free to use this method.however proper referance should be made and monetary advantage should not be gained.happy driving.